


Intimations of Mortality

by Dillian



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Death from Old Age, Gen, Immortality, Old Age, Regret, Time Passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-23 23:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First I read this perfectly charming story called "Fight or Flyte", about how after a while the main reason Loki keeps on showing up to attack the Avengers is to trade snark with Tony.  Then I got to thinking about what would happen when Loki showed up and Tony wasn't there any more.  Then this happened.  Peter Pan's involved in here too, I think, the sad bit at the end where Peter keeps coming back, but after a while Wendy doesn't even remember him any more.</p><p>I regret none of this, not the Mayor that got disemboweled, or the mini-vans that got thrown, or Tony's obesity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intimations of Mortality

“ _Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where most she satisfies._ ”  
– W. Shakespeare

**_The Avengers_ , and _Thor_ , and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics. This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

It all starts the first time Tony misses one of the things he throws at him. It's a car. – Steve's not exactly sure what kind. Back in the day, it would have been a Buick, something a guy might buy his wife to do the grocery shopping. – ...A mini-van, that's what this one's called, he thinks. And of course considering it's nowadays, when schools don't seem to even run buses any more, and it's about 8 in the morning, naturally it's full of kids. Loki picks it up one-handed and tosses it in that casual, snooty way of his that says, “Why yes of course, I _am_ better than all of you.” Tony's right in the line of fire. He raises his repulsor-glove just a little bit too late. They all have a moment to think, “Oh hell, it's going to hit him.” Then Spidey's in there with a web-blast, and the thing's being put down safely.

Loki stands there, perfectly still and scowls. “Whatever is the matter, Stark?”

“Not enough sleep.” Tony waves a glove vaguely. “You shouldn't schedule your attacks so early.”

“Try all that beer on top of the wine at dinner,” Hawkeye puts in. “After all these years Tony, you should have learned not to challenge Thor to a drinking contest.”

“Yeah, but he's so cute about it, like every time's the very first one.” The rest of them have to laugh, because he's right: That happy grin the big guy gets when he picks up the first mug of ale just never gets old. Loki, however, seems decidedly put out.

His scowl darkens. “I could have destroyed all of Manhattan by now. I could have... – What was that I did last time? – I could have disemboweled your Mayor, and sent the entire City Council to the top of the Empire State Building...” –

“ _Loved_ it when you did that,” Tony says. “And the Mayor wasn't much of a loss either.” –

Loki glares. “ _I'm leaving._ ”

After that, Thor's insane baby brother doesn't visit as often. He's busy maybe; Thor mentions something about Ragnarok. Tony's really beefed up the suit by the next time he shows up, added extra sensors on the gloves, and some other things a guy needs when he's still super-heroing after 60. Loki throws a car. – Steve wonders if there's a reason why he chooses something small and compact this time. – He smiles when Tony catches it right away and sets it back down.

Behind him, the Doom-bots he brought with him start rampaging as expected. There's a lot of fires starting and stuff flying through the air and so on. But Loki just stays where he is and looks at Tony.

“The suit,” he says. “It is larger.”

“Little more of Tony that has to fit in there.” Spidey gives him a teasing pat on the stomach, before leaping off to catch a stray Doom-bot. “We all just say there's more of him to love.”

Tony huffs. “A guy can't keep up the same training schedule _all_ his life.” He throws a wicked look over at Loki. “I can still kick your ass any time I want to, Reindeer Games.”

Loki is having none of it. He looks behind him, waves a hand and all the Doom-bots disappear. “Excessive adipose tissue is unsightly. Furthermore, it can shorten your mortal lifespan.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, “unlike, say, throwing mini-vans at a guy, right?”

Loki gives a disapproving frown. “I will bring you an apple from Idunn's orchard. Perhaps the damage is not yet irreversible.”

Well that doesn't go down so well with Tony. And who can blame him? Steve knows the other Avengers have learned about immortality from his experience. It's one thing for a guy like Thor. His kind are designed to live forever. Where's the appeal for a human though, when all you get out of it is the privilege of watching for years and years and years, while your friends get older and weaker, and then they start dying, and all you can do is just keep on going?

So then some more time goes by. Little by little the old Avengers get replaced, but that's okay because there are always new guys to take their place. Spidey still comes around, and for a man in his fifties, he's still pretty quick on the trigger. Thor doesn't come much, not since he's become King of Asgard, and as for Loki, well one time Steve's pretty sure a decade goes by, in between visits.

Of course when he does show up, it's right after the accident. He doesn't bother with the high drama and the trying-to-destroy-Manhattan thing any more, just shows up in the penthouse with a weapon in his hand, that looks a lot like the sceptre-thing he brought the first time.

“Have at you, Captain of the Americas.”

Steve doesn't look up from his paper. “Hulk still lives downstairs,” he says. “He's grumpier now that Bruce is dead. You don't want me to call him.”

Loki wants him to call Tony. They both know that.

“Ah no, I do not wish you to summon the beast.” Loki makes the sceptre vanish, and smiles his old evil smile. “I came for a drink merely,” he says. “Your Mr. Stark's invitation is still outstanding.”

He is _not_ happy when Steve tells him the news.

“A broken _hip_?” It's like he takes it as a personal insult. Steve doesn't point out that Fury died last year of a coronary embolism. – Not like Loki would care anyway, probably. -- He doesn't mention Natasha's stroke, or follow the angry demigod when he flounces back out into the night again.

Later on, Tony tells him about what happened: “First he threw all the floral arrangements around the room.” He laughs that wheezing, old-man's laugh that's been creeping up on him since sometime in the mid-2040's. “Then he threw the _nurse_. – Gal has some nice legs on her. I knew it was a good idea to make her wear a skirt.” The laugh dies away and for a moment he looks almost serious. “Then he threw this big pile of apples on my bed. He said there was one there for every year since 2012, and if I ate them all ...well, _you_ know.”

“You didn't?” It's not like he really has to ask it.

Tony waves a hand. “Apples give me gas. -- I asked the Director to offer them around the nursing home, but there weren't any takers. We old-folk aren't as dumb as we look.”

Yeah. _We_ old-folk...

The next time Loki shows up, Steve's with Pepper, listening to Tony's will: Now _there's_ a gal with some nice legs on her. Nice everything for that matter, considering she's got to be at least 90. Her son Kevin took over Stark Enterprises when she retired. He stays surprisingly calm, when Loki pops up in the middle of his Persian carpet and starts throwing the stuff on his desk at Steve.

“We meet again, _mortal_.”

Doom's been dead for years, of course. It's not that he wasn't technically immortal, – All those spells and experiments he did on himself really did work. – but then he got sideswiped by a blast from one of the Doom-bots, when he was just out of the shower and hadn't put his armor back on yet. Steve hears he killed himself when Loki saw him naked. Hulk's dead too. Apparently adamantium bones can only hold up for so long. And Spidey's retired. It's just the two of them left now ...the two of them that aren't mortal.

“You must be Loki,” Kevin says brightly. “I'm glad you came. Uncle Tony made several bequests to you.”

Loki narrows his eyes. “ _Bequests_?”

“There's a decanter of 20-year old Scotch listed, and two glasses. – Says here he owed you a drink. ...And here's something about 40 golden apples.” Kevin reads further. He frowns. “The date on that one says 2047. That's got to be a typo.”

Steve has to dust off all his Loki-fighting skills to deal with the tantrum that follows. There's stuff flying through the air, and windows being broken, just like in the old days. As for Pepper, well the only reason so much destruction gets done, is that Steve has to spend half his time shielding her from the things that come flying in her direction. 

“You mortals are worthless,” he storms. “A race of mayflies, all of you, here today and gone tomorrow.”

 _Not all of us Loki,_ Steve thinks. _Not all of us._

Now here comes the really funny part: After that, Loki shows up every year on the anniversary of the will-reading. He brings one of the apples with him, and Steve eats it and they both pretend it makes a difference. They still hate each other like poison, sure, but after a while that doesn't matter. A guy takes his companionship where he can find he, even if all that means is a glass of Scotch and a forty-year old apple.


End file.
